Sep 06 2012
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favorites, reduce

Opting Out

Junk mail makes up at least 50% of our daily mail.  Yesterday the hulking Restoration Hardware catalog wrapped in plastic arrived in my mailbox.  Okay, that’s enough.  I’m a fan of  RH and all – they have inspiring color palettes and lovely towels – but three pounds of paper and a plastic bag every six months when I ordered once four years ago??

In searching, I discovered this great website to help opt out of catalogs.  The site just links to the company’s home page, but after the first opt out (Restoration Hardware), I was hooked and determined to opt out of everything unwanted.  Some companies make it easy, others make it a hunt, and still others leave no other option than to call.

A call to Victoria’s Secret and the local newspaper as well an email to Indigo Wild (see below: Zum bar soap = so fresh and so clean, clean), J.Crew, and American Stationery were necessary, but it was easy to opt out of Crate & Barrel, West Elm, and CB2 online.

It sounds like it generally takes 90 days to be removed from the mailing lists.  That’s okay, I’m secretly all right with receiving the holiday catalogs.

Sep 05 2012
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adventure, reduce, renew

I Feel…Good?

It’s difficult to  remember the last time I felt good from the inside out.  There have been plenty of times I’ve felt good from the outside in, but this good feeling radiating from the core has been quite elusive.  Probably since 2006?  Yikes.

It is likely  a combination of things.  Perhaps the vitamin B3 and multivitamin that the doctors advised.  It might be the payout of nine months of therapy.  Maybe it’s about refocusing on me and my mental and physical health. It’s probably all of that.

At least a small part of it is Clean In ’13. While off to a solid start, the opportunity to eat whatever on the weekend is definitely going to help the transition from a ‘whatever’ diet to a healthy diet.  At the doctor’s office yesterday, I weighed in at a 146.  That scale has to be far more accurate than any other, so instead of at the cusp of overweight, I’ve officially jumped off the edge.

Now it’s time to climb back up to the top. It took fifteen years to turn my body into this and it’s illogical to think it’s going to be a quick fix.  In a time of instant gratification, it’s important to remember that.

Never being one to shy away from an uphill adventure, I’m off and running. And I feel good.

Sep 03 2012
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adventure, recycle, reduce, renew

Be Better.

Today we indulged pigged-out at the state fair.  Cheese curds, pretzels, corn, deep fried pickles, cookies, funnel cake, soda, pizza and a stomach ache. Greasy. Gross. Gross. Gross.

Be better.

Clean in ’13 starts tomorrow.  That means from Sunday lunch through Friday breakfast, only whole, healthy foods are consumed.  Friday lunch through Sunday breakfast are open to bad food.  The end goal being to phase out processed and unhealthy foods all together and only eat naughty foods on rare occasion.

Today, I cleaned out the fridge, freezer and cabinets.  All of the foods the processed foods were moved to the front, so that we can use them up (wasting sucks) during the naughty time of the week. I also composted (first compost!)  the freezer-burnt frozen peas (yuck) and straight chucked anything that was expired or stale (no guilt there.)

Tomorrow, I’ll go to the grocery store and fill my cart only with whole, organic foods. This is going to be tough though, because it’s hard to spend more money on food – especially when the commercial celery is $0.99 and the organic variety is three times that amount. It’s a complete change in thinking … and in the grocery budget.

I’m excited to start this, but also worried that I’ll have trouble sticking to it.  Planning and launching are my strengths; execution and longevity in the wellness arena, not so much.

Be better.

Sep 01 2012
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reduce

Ear, Nose & Throat

May through October is the reason we gut out November through April in the Midwest. But once the ragweed blooms, the season changes from summer to hay fever.  Even allergy meds aren’t helping this year — the ragweed must be finding water where grass, plants and gardens are not.

I need to find a better allergy med…

PS It was a blue moon yesterday.  The next one will happen on 7/31/15.

Aug 30 2012
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cancer, reduce

Too Quiet?

Days like today are appreciated by most people.  I wasn’t rushing out of the house this morning; traffic was light; work was a perfect storm of few interruptions and productivity; and tonight brings a solid mix of Mexican food, great friends and football.  What’s not to appreciate about a vanilla day like that?

Vanilla days put me on edge.  They are the eerie calm before the storm.  Like when birds stop making noise in the woods or the fish scatter on a reef. To me, vanilla days indicate imminent danger.

Like the quiet day I told the therapist I felt like something bad was going to happen and the next day S was diagnosed with cancer.  Or the lazy morning TB and I were organizing the office at the new house, my brother called to tell me my mom had a stroke.

I’d definitely rather enjoy these calm days instead of worrying about impending doom … I just don’t know how to.

Since I’ve checked on each of my core people under the guise of a cheery, casual “Hello!”, perhaps tonight, I simply try to enjoy this vanilla evening of Mexican food, great friends and football.

Indeed. That sounds like a much better plan.

Aug 29 2012
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cancer, reduce

Clean in ’13

According to the Center for Disease Control”s BMI Calculator, I’m teetering on the edge of overweight.  The CDC tells me that I should be between 108 and 145 lbs.  I’m 143 with no cap in sight.

More important than any number, I feel gross. I feel blubbery and uncomfortable. The ‘Pants Dance’ is required to get into newly washed jeans and the last time I had to wear a bikini was probably the beginning of an anxiety disorder.

There are two options: grow six inches taller or drop the weight. While continuing to hold out hope that the growth spurt I never had in high school is on the horizon, the reality of the situation is that I need to lose 20 pounds.

20 lbs.  = 4 reams of paper
20 lbs. = $400 in quarters
20 lbs. = a car tire
20 lbs. = back fat, fanny pack, saddle bags, muffin top, and rolls:

(It’s a harsh dose of reality to post these. Plus, before and after pictures are a reward in and of themselves.)

In addition to issues of will power and motivation, there’s another dashingly handsome issue: TB loves unhealthy food. Loooooves it.  It took a while, but I finally convinced him that we should go Clean in 2014 (a catchy name never hurts.) Only whole, organic, healthy food and drink with a gracious 1.5 years to gear up and eat as badly as he wants.

Then S got cancer.

And Clean in ’14 became Clean in ’13 (whew, the catchy name still works.)  In negotiating this with TB, Clean in ’13 was modified to bridge the gap and the 80/20 model was born. 80% clean, 20% dirty.  Baby steps.

Aug 28 2012
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cancer, recycle, reduce

Chemo & Compost

It’s dreary in the city befitting a day in the chemo unit.  However, the sun peeks out through holes in the cloud cover from time to time as if to say, “Hey! Don’t give up hope in this shitstorm.”

The machine pumping saline and poisons into S has an oddly soothing rhythm about it. Neil Armstrong died this week and the History Channel is celebrating his life on the television in front of me. Did you know the moon is so bright and reflective of the sun because moon ‘dirt’ is something like 30%-60% glass?  At least I think that’s what they said. Since lunar science isn’t why I’m here, I’m paying attention to everything while retaining almost nothing today.

On a lighter note, after about a year of wanting, I’ve finally purchased garden and kitchen compost bins.  I asked TB the other night if he thought we could get down to one bag of trash every month between recycling and composting.  I bet we can.

Aug 27 2012
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adventure, cancer, mental illness

It Starts Today

Seven days ago, I was getting a massage and the masseuse asked what I do outside of work. I’ve always had a great answer to that question ranging from race training or a new painting to a great adventure or new project. But I didn’t have an answer this time. My life is incomprehensibly busy (much of the activity happening in my brain) but none of it was about me.

It’s time to make a change. After eight months of intense dealings with other people’s Schizoaffective Disorder and Stage IV Melanoma, it’s time to refocus on Number One. Mental illness and cancer will continue to play a large role in my life as they are leeching life from my mom and my best friend respectively, but these parasites can’t be the sole reason I rise in the morning. Yes, the odds indicate that mental illness and cancer will probably win. But these moochers will not best me.

I’ve been working with a therapist for nine months. The dust is settling and I’m starting to see results through the haze. Between once again learning the tough lesson that life is too short and finally starting to break free of the cycle of a chaotic youth, I’m finding my footing and I’m finding my freedom.

With that, I’m blindly embarking on the greatest adventure of my life: me.

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