Category Archives: wellness

Mar 05 2024
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adventure, create, flight, recycle, renew, wellness

The smackdown

Cleaning out the drafts folder. This one is from 2021.

In T-minus-15 minutes, I’m going to get smacked down for a new job. The interesting thing about this rejection is that IDGAF.

In three rounds of interviews, I was 100% pure undiluted me. There was no gussy, peacocking or swagger — because that’s not me.

I’m a gritty, tenacious, excitable, idea machine. As an amorphous being in a round peg industry, I’m a utility player who’s as rare and universal as my blood type.

The investment in time and emotional energy in the job search is the part that irks. Nothing causes me to emote — from defeat to fury — more than someone wasting my time. Inevitably, there will be tears of frustration for the poor ROI, but only for that reason.

There’s a freedom in rounding 40.

Nov 09 2023
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adventure, mental illness, reduce, renew, wellness

SoloCal

I have loved every second of this trip. From the solitude and art classes to the sound of an uninhibited ocean and an electric car on an open road, I was free (aside from the obligatory call home) for six days in Southern California.

Oddly, the region in which I was conceived is a place of homecoming for me. The genes of two mentally ill people — one diagnosed, one susceptible to cult religion — somehow came together and the crazy DNA canceled itself out. Thankfully.

I’m at the airport and I don’t want to leave. Not a dread, but neither an excitement to get home. Here I am free. Home I am not. In my life I’ve never been free from crushing responsibilities of other peoples’ mental illness, pedophilia, torment, violence, needs.

This week has left me thirsty for freedom. I will take this trip again before I am choking and gasping for it.

Feb 22 2022
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favorites, renew, wellness

Unleaded

A pencil. Something as simple and retro as a Number 2 pencil is changing the planning game.

I’ve tried many a digital planner, but never cease to return to the tried and true paper version. We’re one week into 2022 and I think I’ve found the one (or three really) that work for me.

  1. Moleskine 5×7 weekly/monthly
  2. Outlook
  3. Weekly tear sheet notepad

I use the Moleskine for my personal diary and task lists; Outlook for my work, personal and family schedule; and a weekly tear sheet for a family weekly planner affixed to the fridge.

This is monumental as it’s been six years since I’ve felt in control of my day — at least the planning of it.

But what thing thing that’s really made the difference? A pencil.

It is liberating to simply erase and unfinished task or a first thought.

May 04 2014
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reduce, renew, wellness

Aaaand we’re back

Treads and I ran a marathon in 2006. And then again in 2010.  It seemed only incrementally fitting that we would run in 2014.  In January, registering for the race in October sounded like a great idea.  Even in April – with training set to start May 4 – the idea was still lively and exciting.

However, as the first ‘comeback run’ approached, enthusiasm gave way to doubt.  Today was scheduled as the first three miles of 325.2 and frankly, to say I wasn’t sure of myself would be an understatement. Signing up for the autumn race seemed like a great idea in January but as today approached a familiar arch-nemesis swiftly rolled in like fog.

Doubt is a toxin that, if left to its own devices, will paralyze the host – and man does it take a lot of courage to outrun it.  However, after getting up early and finishing the first uphill mile after a long hiatus at a solid pace in the cold when staying in bed this morning sounded so much better, there is only one thing to say to Doubt. Suck it.

Feb 11 2014
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reduce, wellness

Hibernesting

Hibernesting.  As in I have been in a state of rest at home much of the last three months.

For the first time really, I feel in a state of peace.  And I am reveling in it.

November launched a new career at a new company as well as the beginning of a drug regimen to provide a crutch to the happiness and peace chemicals in my brain until they can stand alone.

December brought a much-needed vacation for TB and me. We were both probably too exhausted to fully enjoy the week in Hawaii, but grateful to stop nonetheless.  I didn’t even feel an ounce of guilt that we skipped the Christmas decorations.  In fact, I was grateful for the decision on December 26.

January was busy. I agreed to contract back with the nonprofit and found myself working full time and an additional 15-20 hours  a week in nonprofitland.  The contract expired at the end of the month and I was happy to have helped (as well as to make up the $4,000 pay cut from the career change) and even happier to turn in my keys.

February has been, so far, a state of blissful rest.  Work. Rest. Sleep. Repeat.  It’s been lovely.  Eventually, and thankfully, I will tire of resting, but right now, hibernesting has been a glorious experience.