Author Archives: reducerenewrecycle

Chemo & Compost

It’s dreary in the city befitting a day in the chemo unit.  However, the sun peeks out through holes in the cloud cover from time to time as if to say, “Hey! Don’t give up hope in this shitstorm.”

The machine pumping saline and poisons into S has an oddly soothing rhythm about it. Neil Armstrong died this week and the History Channel is celebrating his life on the television in front of me. Did you know the moon is so bright and reflective of the sun because moon ‘dirt’ is something like 30%-60% glass?  At least I think that’s what they said. Since lunar science isn’t why I’m here, I’m paying attention to everything while retaining almost nothing today.

On a lighter note, after about a year of wanting, I’ve finally purchased garden and kitchen compost bins.  I asked TB the other night if he thought we could get down to one bag of trash every month between recycling and composting.  I bet we can.

It Starts Today

Seven days ago, I was getting a massage and the masseuse asked what I do outside of work. I’ve always had a great answer to that question ranging from race training or a new painting to a great adventure or new project. But I didn’t have an answer this time. My life is incomprehensibly busy (much of the activity happening in my brain) but none of it was about me.

It’s time to make a change. After eight months of intense dealings with other people’s Schizoaffective Disorder and Stage IV Melanoma, it’s time to refocus on Number One. Mental illness and cancer will continue to play a large role in my life as they are leeching life from my mom and my best friend respectively, but these parasites can’t be the sole reason I rise in the morning. Yes, the odds indicate that mental illness and cancer will probably win. But these moochers will not best me.

I’ve been working with a therapist for nine months. The dust is settling and I’m starting to see results through the haze. Between once again learning the tough lesson that life is too short and finally starting to break free of the cycle of a chaotic youth, I’m finding my footing and I’m finding my freedom.

With that, I’m blindly embarking on the greatest adventure of my life: me.