The job
- Acknowledge that I cannot eat crap food. Bad things happen every time.
- Come to believe I am a) worth living happily b) that I have the power to do things differently.
- Become willing to do things differently and make healthy choices in my thoughts, behaviors and actions through various methods.
- Look at the patterns of thought and behavior that don’t serve me.
- Reflect on these patterns, discuss them with someone if necessary and fully acknowledge that these things harm me and cannot continue.
- Become willing to surrender these negative patterns of thought, behavior and actions.
- Take the necessary action to change these maladaptive patterns, to end unhealthy relationships and continue to take action that leads me to wellness.
- Make a list of persons I have harmed and become willing to make amends to them.
- Make direct amends to such people.
- Continue to watch for maladaptive behavior, without judgement, and take action to change it.
- Involve myself in positive activities
- Live an example of a positive, openhearted, honest, ethical life.
The pitch
Good afternoon,
I’m seeking a new therapist.
I am a 41yo woman with a history of trauma, long-term childhood sexual and emotional abuse, and a buffet of other experiences that resulted in a generalized anxiety disorder, depression and PTSD. Plus, two stints of PPD.
The goal is simple: I want to put the past and all of the fallout from it to rest. While all my experiences shaped who I am today – and I like who I am – I’m exhausted by their intrusive presence and continued impact on my present-day life. I’m done with treating the symptoms – I want to treat the cause.
But, the challenge is twofold:
- I present well. Too well. I’m likable. My story is crappy and I’m uncontrollably genuine such that most therapists can’t help but want to nurture me. But I need someone who is both kind and gentle but also knows when to push, agitate and dig in and not let up.
- I need more than talk therapy. Should we talk for three hours at a time? Sure. Do you have homework for me? Great. Do you have some DBT, visualization, 12-step, EMDR, Eastern medicine program you want me to try? Let’s do it – but you have to assign and hold me accountable. I appreciate readings, but photocopied pages of chapters is not how I learn.
So, if you are interested in my case, I’d like to meet you for a quick meeting to see if we jive. If we move forward, I am happy to sign an ROI so you can read my past therapy notes so we can be an efficient team.
I need an agitator.
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