Lately, I’ve been unable to shake the desire to email an old boyfriend. Not for any other reason than to tell him, hey, thank you for being a great person. RT3 was raised by Pastor Bob and Tootse. Raised in Kentucky, their jobs brought them to this metropolis when RT3 was young. I remember the day I first met them. I was 22 and they embraced me from the minute I walked through the door of their north suburban rambler. He was clearly an apple of their limbs – and they are all some of the best people I’ve ever met.
I had a crush on him in college well before he ever noticed me. We dated for a little over a year after graduation and I so badly wanted to love him like he loved me. I didn’t understand how I couldn’t be attracted this wonderful human being – or, in the least make myself be.
It took a few years, but we became friends after our relationship ended. Great friends. And then he met his now wife. Even though I was second only to his sister as the most harmless person to their relationship, I still was a girl that RT3 used to date. For a long time after we lost touch, I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t be happy for him when I felt such injustice that he had taken his friendship away when I didn’t do anything wrong. Eventually, I got over myself. I’d like to say it was because I saw how happy he was. But more likely it was because time dulls all feelings.
It wasn’t until TB expressed his frustration with me hanging out with an old boyfriend did I have an inkling of the position RT3 had been in with his then-girlfriend about me those years ago. It super sucked to send to him the email to tell him I couldn’t meet up for happy hour anymore because it made my husband too uncomfortable.
Today, I want to tell him that he’s one of the best men I’ve ever known. And that I’m so glad he was a big part of my life. I want to tell him that I’m sad we can’t be better friends but he’ll always be among the blessings I count in my life. And last, I want to tell him I attribute to him, in part, that I picked a good one who treats me well. After all, he was the first guy in the aftermath of my formative years who demonstrated how a guy is supposed to love a girl.
But, that’s kind of a weird email to send. And probably a weird email to receive. So I’ll just tell the internet instead.
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