Monthly Archives: May 2013

May 25 2013
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cancer

Hail Mary

It came too soon.

Well, all of it came too soon, but more specifically S shouldn’t be on the last ditch drug yet.  It was barely a year ago, on May 8, that the dermatologist told her the mole on her left shoulder was likely Stage 2 cancer.  Stage 3 happened on May 30.  I can’t even remember when Stage 4 officially joined the party.  July, I think?  Regardless, it wasn’t that long ago.

Zelboraf is the brand name of vemurafenib.  It’s a $14,000-a-month, eight-pill-a-day cancer poison. And as hardly a noun escapes a nickname in my vocabulary, it’s better known as ‘Zebra’ the brand name of ‘Venom.’  And while Venom is sadly apropos, I opted for the cute safari animal over the toxin.

Zebra is all-powerful and eradicates cancer from the body. But it’s also the last ditch drug. It can only be taken once and generally only works for an average of six months before it’s overcome.

Someday, I hope Zebra is like aspirin to a headache. Doctors will say, “Take two Zebras and call me in the morning.”  Someday.  I hope. For now, it is a Hail Mary.

May 24 2013
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cancer, mental illness

It’s Coming

The temperature is starting to drop and the breeze has more of an intention now.  I cannot see the cover of darkness that looms on the other side of the horizon, but it’s coming.  The birds are silent and I have developed a sixth sense about these things.

I once swam amongst a rainbow of wildlife on the Great Barrier Reef.  I didn’t notice when fish evacuated and there wasn’t even time to be frightened as the two-foot reef shark sauntered in as quickly as he sauntered out of sight.

The ignorance of impending disaster is much preferred to constantly bracing for it.  I wish I was blissfully unaware, like the time before the shark.

However, I have found the answer to the question of whether it is easier to lose someone suddenly or to watch them die. While the end has not come for my mom or S I will always be grateful that I had the time.

May 10 2013
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Uncategorized

LOL Congress: Day 47

Today, a staff member for the state House of Representatives popped into my office (she’s also on the Board of Directors at work) and I asked to bend her ear about LOL Congress.

She suggested reaching out to my state senator to ask him to encourage my congressman to do something about ‘mental defectives.’

By the end of the conversation, she was on her way back to the Capitol to deliver the LOL Congress letter to a friend of hers in mental health in Representative W‘s district.

T minus fifteen days before Round Two of LOL Congress.  Learning that it’s all about who you know when it comes to getting things done that are outside of your control has been vital to my professional success. My guess is that it will be vital to the success of this campaign as well.

So Round Two will be all about the six degrees of separation and the twelve people I know who can help me reach the people who can get this done.

May 07 2013
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reduce

Wardrobe Malfunction

It’s been 34 days since the doctor put the kibosh on CrossFit because of the shoulder impingement (which still sounds like a big sally injury.)  Now, I know the pony keg that is my abdomen didn’t happen in those 34 days. No, I’ve merely become acutely aware of it in the last month.

There’s a wedding in two weeks for one of TB’s friends. I have a closet full of dresses that have been my go-to frocks for such occasions for the better part of a decade.  One favorite is a classic black,  v-neck that hits just above the knee.  The other fav is a silk magenta one-shoulder number. Both are forgiving and flattering and I can’t wear either right now.

That’s untrue. I shouldn’t wear either one. They have forgiven and flattered as much as their carefully stitched seams will allow. They tried to warn me with their gaping zippers, but I ignored their pleas and fought those zippers only to be mortified by my reflection.

What the HELL.

Thankfully, one of the second-string dresses will work. But more importantly, this has been a wake up call.

I hate shopping but if I don’t reign in this barrel chest and these voluptuous thighs, I’ll have to replace my entire wardrobe.   Did I mention that I loathe shopping??

Motivation comes in many individualized forms. For some people it’s health, for others it’s self-esteem. For this girl, it’s the mall.

I’ll gladly lose 10-15 lbs (too chicken to step on the scale) to avoid the mall.