My mom has been in the hospital for 39 days. Schizoaffective Disorder = 39. Mom = 0.
My sister-in-law asked if I would chat with her friend who’s mother, while undiagnosed, clearly has mental illness. Last night, we talked for 4.5 hours. It was mostly a ‘pay it forward’ evening to help a stranger feel less alone. Or as my brothers and I call it, ‘safety in numbers.’
I did walk away with a new perspective. I’m thankful to have learned about Schizoaffective Disorder. I’m thankful my mom is diagnosed. I’m thankful we had about 20 years with her post-diagnosis before the mental illness staged thishostile takeover that appears to be permanent. I’m thankful the mental illness never lashed out at me. My mom is seemingly a walk in the park compared to this person’s mom.
Her healthcare is where the bulk of her mental health challenges lie. Our mental healthcare system in the United States is broken. My mom’s insurance is refusing to pay for her hospitalization but under the civil commitment, the doctors will not release her until she’s stable. United Health Group, I implore you to spend an evening with my mom in psychosis. When she tells you that she wants to stab my dad or she weeps and asks you why she’s not dead yet, you may understand that mental illness is as dangerous as liver failure, brain cancer, or a stroke – and should be treated and funded as such. You may start to appreciate that mental health is as, if not more, important than physical health.
The stigma in our society further inhibits better healthcare and more services. Use of the words ‘crazy’ and ‘schizo’ perpetuate the shame and stagnation. My mom is not rich enough or poor enough to get the help she needs. Unless something drastic happens like my dad convinces her to divorce him so she can be ‘impoverished’ and ‘uninsured’ so she can get help she needs for a disease that she doesn’t think she has (I’d like to meet the salesperson who can close that deal) or they sell all of their earthly possessions, my mom will die before she gets an ounce of the outpatient care she needs. As she desperately needs help, it likely won’t be long before we lose our mother. The blood of this beautiful human being will be on your hands, United Health Group.
This year, I will work on removing the word ‘crazy’ from my every day vocabulary. Unless of course used within conversation with my brothers. It’s just too apropos to our situation.
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