S went to the emergency room last night because she literally could not get out of bed without throwing up. After waiting six hours to pee, she finally gave in, puked her way to the bathroom and called the on-call doctor. Vertigo, eye inflammation, and blurred vision have been added to the laundry list of negative side effects. At least, cancer has proven to be generous enough in this vile game of chemo to stop one nasty side effect before launching a new attack.
We both live in the city but the oncologist, Dr. Cure It, is located in a second ring suburb as is the hospital at which he is credentialed. And part of S being in this clinical trial meant she agreed to go to this hospital as to be under his care. This particular area is known for it’s more *ahem* interesting walks of life. Sitting in the waiting room was nothing short of a two-hour case study in white trash.
There was the 19-year-old who stumbled in between his two stoner friends bleeding from the head from some Jackass-style stunt.
The Jerry-Springer-guest-star-mom loudly threatening a lawsuit for an unidentified but nevertheless ridiculous reason. “Ah hell no, it’s called a lawsuit. Imma call my lawyer.”
Then there was the portly young woman in too-tight studded cutoffs that exposed her high-thigh tattoos. She was a delight. What her vocabulary lacked in depth, it sure compensated for in color.
And the sexual tension between an EMT and the mall cop security guard was better than whatever was on the television behind them. All we needed was a fight between a baby mama and someone’s new girlfriend and we would have stumbled upon ratings gold.
I think shows like ER missed the boat. The real entertainment is in the waiting room. Just don’t get too close to the infant with the plague.
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I found your blog while searching through tags, i followed if you don’t mind. Your writing about the ER had my in hysterics. It’s SO true. I live in NY and in a suburban neighborhood. So our local ER are always interesting but nothing extravagant . But, my fiancee’s oncologist is in this fancy big hospital in long island… so we encounter some “high class” characters whenever we are there. I think regardless of where you go , waiting rooms always bring out the worst ( or entertaining) in people.