Never having been one to feel the proverbial ‘clock’ ticking, I have no idea what wanting a baby actually feels like. Sure, there’s been some intangible item that I left at the store, then longed for after and eventually purchased – but to want a kid? Uh-uh. I have no idea what it’s like to want one of those.
I feel sheepish admitting this, but we watched What to Expect When You’re Expecting over the weekend and it was during that movie that I started to feel something. Something that felt an awful lot like ‘I think I can do this,’ and ‘I can actually picture holding my own child.’
Combined with ‘graduating’ from therapy (aka learning how to not be my mom’s mom) and S getting sicker, it has been both a high dose of reality and a freeing week.
I think I’m ready. And with our plan to stop preventing in January, in theory, I could have a kid by this time next year. Holy shit.
Photo (c) Lionsgate
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