Ugh. A big deflating, Ugh.
We all knew the side effects of the clinical trial drug could make S sick. What we didn’t know is how sick since she’s on now-being-tested high dose.
She pretty much has the plague. Like high temps of 103.5° and low temps of 94.4° every single day. That’s writhe-around-and-sweat-your-ass-off hot and can’t-use-your-fingers-and-shake-violently cold. Her head pounds, her neck is stiff, her body hurts – like the mother of all flu viruses.
But S has will power superior to anyone. The first time she used a sick day in TWELVE years was for the first tumor and lymph node resection. And here’s the best part, as craptacular as she feels, she’s gone to work every day since this came on 1.5 weeks ago.
It sure as hell puts into perspective wanting to cheat Clean in ’13 or quit at the gym. Last night was my first time back at the gym in over a month. There’s a class on Monday night that’s a real ass kicker. It’s awesome. It’s four sets of eight 20 second bursts of high intensity cardio or strength training. Damn straight I was figuring out how to quit ‘gracefully’ after the sixth sprint. But there’s only one thought racing through my mind right after I consider quitting:
S has cancer.
I plead with empty air that she didn’t. I hate that it’s fueling the change in me. But she does and it is.
reducerenewrecycle 